Twitter Queens: The Best Female Tweets Of The Week
From bottles of cadets to ice-cream tea, here’s this week’s round-up of the best female tweets!
Saying no to @ELLEmagazine's mailing list is one of the most passive-aggressive things on the Internet. pic.twitter.com/40zWQU6KwP
— Michelle Mc Mahon (@McMahonMichelle) July 12, 2015
Any woman who has ever opened up a tab on the computer and typed in Elle magazine will understand the frustration. Imagine being the responsibility of many children at a playground. When you need to leave (three hours later), they start begging you to stay but before you so much as even open your mouth to declare no, they have already scrambled up the climbing net and taken cover in a wooden playhouse. Well, Elle’s website reminds me of those children who just can’t take no for an answer. Yes, I’m sure the experts are spot on (no pun intended) about the damage I’ve been doing to my skin but if I’m to be saved from receiving an endless amount of e-mails to my inbox, then it’ll have to be a firm NO from me. And that’ll be the end of it, I don’t want to hear any more about it!
https://twitter.com/ANPNL05/status/621001114205319168
Translation: Too bad all the men out there making fun of this weren’t there, because if it is what they say it was, I would’ve loved to have smeared it on their face.
https://twitter.com/ANPNL05/status/621008486181175296
Translation: I DON’T NEED WINGS TO FLY, I HAVE IMAGINATION AND THANKS TO GOD, I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR.
Ever had an embarrassing moment in school, work or college and worried that you would never live it down? Sure you have. Ever had an embarrassing moment on live television and woke up to see your face plastered across the media? Probably not so count yourself lucky. When Mexican singer, Patricia Navidad, was belting out her hit, Viva Mexico, in front of thousands on breakfast show, Despierta America (Wake Up America), she was left in a bit of a predicament when her sanitary towel slipped out from under her blue mini-dress and onto the floor. But rather than running off the stage in tears or waiting for the ground to swallow her up, Patricia remained professional and finished her performance. And what’s even more admirable is her response to media coverage and the haters. She took to Twitter to laugh off the incident, telling her fans that she “never threw the pad, it fell itself through a sophisticated tunnel”, while adding it is “not something I should be mocked for.” What a trooper!
Not being allowed to eat the "good biscuits" #GrowingUpIrish
— Clare Cullen/Clisare (@Clisare) July 16, 2015
So, let me get this straight, Mam? You bought a tin of Jacob’s Afternoon Tea’s ‘just in case’ somebody calls to the house even though the only visitors we get are during the Christmas and it currently stands at the middle of July? Well, just so you know, I’ve seen that stash of Roses and Celebrations in the cupboard out in the back kitchen and I can’t promise my temptation won’t kick in and take over. But, of course, that could be a bad idea because we all know mothers are only looking for an excuse to take out that wooden spoon…
#GrowingUpIrish when the ultimate threat from your mother or grandmother was 'do you want me to get out the wooden spoon'
— Rebecca Murphy (@Beckals96) July 15, 2015
#GrowingUpIrish has been trending in Ireland on Twitter for the past few days and you’d be surprised by how much you would have forgotten…
couldn't have a sports day without a bottle of cadet and a packet of tayto #GrowingUpIrish
— niamh conway (@Snev_) July 15, 2015
Not going to lie but I think I looked forward to getting the treats that were given out at the end of the yearly school sports day more than receiving an actual medal. Because when I failed miserably at the egg and spoon or the wheelbarrow race, at least I knew I would always be rewarded with a nice, cool bottle of Cadet and a tasty packet of Taytos anyway.
Sinead O'Connor on Kim Kardashian: "What is this c**t doing on the cover of Rolling Stone?" #allhailSinead
— Jennifer O'Brien (@Jen_OBrien1) July 14, 2015
Sinead O’ Connor; she’s not one to hold punches, that’s for sure. After Kim Kardashian’s debut on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, Sinead asked what every other non die-hard Kardashian fan was thinking: What the…? But while, Sinead claims Rolling Stone has murdered music recently, it had been killed off long before that. When Rolling Stone was first founded in 1967 by Jann Wenner, it began by embracing the hippie counterculture, the attitudes music embraces along with political coverage. But in the 1980s, it shifted from focusing on music towards being a general entertainment magazine, covering everything from music to films and television. To publicize a woman who became famous over a sex tape on a cover which iconic artists, such as The Beatles to Jimi Hendrix, have graced is understandably an outrage but was Sinead right in calling Kim a c**t? Kim’s just a product created and enhanced by the media. It’s not really her fault if she’s put on a front cover, is it?
I'm writing and have a question. Do you always say 'I can't afford to go on holiday' but know that if you saved a bit, you probably could?
— Dawn O'Porter (@hotpatooties) July 14, 2015
Each summer, you make a pact to start saving for a girlie holiday the following summer. Next summer arrives and after slaving away, working overtime, why is it you don’t have a cent to your name? If you were to work for three months straight without any social interaction (difficult, I know), I’m sure enough money would be raised to pay off both flights and accommodation. So, why haven’t you still jetted away on a plane? Because there’s bills, food, rent, clothes, beauty products, etc. to be paid for too, that’s why.
My tea said "be yourself" so naturally I chugged my tea and filled the mug with ice cream. #honestea pic.twitter.com/WYetlblssB
— Jess Dickerson (@Jayedilla) July 9, 2015
This tweet almost made me spit my tea from my mouth, it was so witty. But, did you know that ice-cream tea float is an actual thing? Yep, all you need to do is bring sugar and water to a boil and simmer until the sugar dissolves. Take off the heat, then steep the tea and filter. Put two tablespoons into a cup then fill halfway with sparkling water. Add ice-cream of your choice. Yeah, I don’t think I’d be bothered either, just pass me a tub of Ben and Jerry’s please.
Instagram's decision to ban #curvy makes sense, because of course the concept of women celebrating their body is disgusting…
— Gemma Warnock (@bambiwarnock) July 17, 2015
Late Wednesday night, Instagram announced in an official statement by a spokesperson that “we did block the hashtag #curvy as it was being used to share content that violates our guidelines around nudity.” The spokesperson added: “Please note the block has nothing to do with the term ‘curvy’ itself.” Okay, so if it has nothing to do with the term ‘curvy’, then why has #skinny not also been banned? Or #girl or #boy? As far as I know, you can use any hashtag to send a nude picture to the search engine so if Instagram are truly concerned about our ‘wellbeing’, then why not ban the whole goddamn app altogether?! Good to hear Instagram users have responded with creating a new hashtag – we are the #curvee generation!
