Twitter Queens: The Best Female Tweets
FROM boob sweat to bad drivers and voicemails to erm…Scrabble, we take a look at the best female tweets of the week.
"Hi you've reached Amanda. I can't come to the phone because if you're leaving a message you are a serial killer."
— Amanda Brooke Perrin (@brookeperrin) August 6, 2014
Ok, we all need to sit down and talk about voicemails for a minute. Who still leaves them? Why is this considered ok? When you see that you’ve got a voicemail waiting, you absolutely know with 100% certainty that you’re in some sort of trouble. Nobody leaves a voicemail unless they mean business. But deep down, you’re a little bit excited. And then it turns out to be three seconds of noiseless air before the caller hangs up. Gotta love that suspense though!
It's nice to remember that, no matter WHO you are, there's at least one person who would be totally wigged out if you texted right now.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) August 10, 2014
We all have at least one person who we hate receiving a text or Facebook message from, whether it’s because you think they’re a creep, annoying or just plain boring. But how strange is it to think that you’re also that person to somebody else? And so is Jennifer Lawrence, and Justin Bieber, and maybe even Michael Fassbender. Everyone is a weirdo to someone. Such a life affirming thought.
You can now use the words "selfie" and "hashtag" when you play Scrabble thirty years ago.
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) August 5, 2014
Scrabble has added 5,000 new words to its dictionary, including selfie, hashtag and frenemy. Which seems ironic since it is 2014 and most people would rather take selfies and use hashtags with their frenemies than play a game of Scrabble.
You know what activity is seriously underrated? Coming home and removing your bra on a hot day. #justlikeheaven
— Morgan Shanahan (@the818) August 8, 2014
There’s no denying the fact that taking your bra off at the end of the day is amazing but with the semi-warm weather we’ve been having lately, it’s become the actual best part of my day. Boob sweat is a real struggle and hot itchy bras are the absolute worst.
Hobbies include: making sure the driver of an obnoxious car sees me rolling my eyes
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) August 10, 2014
There’s nothing like the feeling of superiority on the road. As women, sometimes we get a bad name for our driving skills, so it’s especially important that we take a stand and use all the eye-rolling and hand gestures available to us to put guys back in their place.
A tragic reminder that the conversation about mental health CANNOT stop. Money, fame, artistic freedom- none of it is a barrier.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) August 12, 2014
News broke earlier this week that Robin Williams had tragically taken his own life after fighting depression and addiction. The tributes across the internet to his legacy were touching but perhaps most importantly, his death highlighted the fact that even the most successful people can be victims of mental health issues. This tweet from Girls star Lena Dunham serves as a reminder that we all need to be more open with the discussion of depression, whether it be with ourselves or with the people we love.
I hate when I accidentally hit the stop bottom on the treadmill… and I have to get off and go eat a cheeseburger.
— Jillian Michaels (@JillianMichaels) July 30, 2014
Everyone knows that exercising makes you way more hungry than normal but it’s reassuring to know that the woman with possibly the best abs in the world still craves a cheeseburger after working out. The problem is, she can probably exert some degree of restraint since her entire career depends on it. (Un)fortunately, the McDonalds drive-thru is on the way home from my gym…so…it would be rude not to.
passive-aggressively posting music to the Internet that contains messages you want to broadcast to someone is a great form of communication
— Hazel Cills (@hazelcills) August 5, 2014
We all know somebody who’s just broken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend and is on a Facebook, Twitter and Instagram crusade, posting statuses and pictures and songs like it’s the actual end of the world. You might even be that person. But please, before you put up another link for We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, think of the rest of us. Think of our own sanity.
Photo c/o cotemedia.com