The New Irish Wedding
WHERE has the magic gone? The romance and excitement of promising to faithfully spend all your days together in love. Instead we are facing divorce and unloving relationships. Once tear-inducing events, people attending a wedding nowadays just want it to be over so they can get their meal.
It is commonly accepted that weddings are more of a hindrance than a celebration. The upwards of €100 gifts, the cost of attending alone when you need time off from work, an outfit, make up, hair and nails done. This competition is just getting bigger and bigger. The cost of drinking, taxis and the hotel – during a recession, how are people expected to afford this? The cost of bridesmaids and groomsmen for the couple is astonishing. Don’t get me started on the photographers. I want to remember enjoying my day, I would rather not remember it by taking photos of it, thank you very much.
I just think it is sad to see such a wonderful event being turned into a grapple of presents, money and show. Who can do it better? At this stage of my life I can’t ever see myself paying for over a hundred people to eat dinner. Some of these people I do not know, have never met or I may not even like. So why am I buying them dinner?
Maybe I am being cynical but the whole constitution of a marriage ceremony is lost in my eyes. Personally I prefer the idea of eloping. The day is so much more special and hassle-free. The people I want will be there and no one else. Tradition and white dresses can stay by the door, my wedding day is between me and whoever is unfortunate enough to be my spouse for life. Another idea I have become quite fascinated with is a humanist wedding, whereupon a couple can be married through the Humanist Association and not through a religion.
According to the Humanist Association of Ireland (HAI) website, humanists base their understanding on the natural world and its evolution in finding values in people themselves. Their motto in life is compassion, equality and reason. Nice and simple. Recent research has indicated that humanist or secular weddings are booming all over Ireland, not just for weddings but for funerals and naming ceremonies too. You do not necessarily have to be atheist to participate.
This sounds like my kind of wedding. The kind of wedding where you don’t have to worry about the music being unsuitable or needing a marriage course from the Catholic church. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ ‘Same Love’ song springs to mind as I write this article. Their performance at the Grammys with Mary Lambert was just magical. This is what love and marriage should look like, see their eyes? See that happiness? Look at most of the weddings here in Ireland – we want the day over. Those people want it to go on forever. Gay, lesbian, religious, not religious – we are all the same. That is what brings a tear to my eye and fills me with that big breath that says you’re in danger of brimming over.
Photo c/o thefrugallifestyle.com