10 Annoying Things That Guys Do On Tinder
RECENTLY single, I decided against much of my friends’ objection and joined Tinder. Just for the laugh. Mainly. After a couple of days of having a trigger happy swiping thumb, I began to notice a serious trend in lads’ profiles. That trend being: how annoying they can be.
I’m sure women’s profiles are just as – if not more – annoying with the trout pouts, conceited selfies and nightclub toilet pictures but I’m not cruising the women’s section so I only have a slight clue. Lads are just as predictable with their profiles as girls. Not all of them of course. You will find the odd guy with a witty profile including charming pictures followed by a joke so bad that it’s borderline hilarious. But for the rest of you lads out there; listen up. The following list is one I have accumulated of the 10 things that turn us ladies off your profiles and subsequently make us swipe left.
There are four of ye in a line for the three consecutive photographs that you have deemed suitable to upload to Tinder. If you don’t point out on your profile which one you are then heavens above, how the hell should we know? We might think we’re chatting the rugged lad in the centre when really we could be talking to his much smaller, much less do-able teenage brother on the right. Or is that the point?
Great, you love Snapchat. You and the guys look like great craic. Photos of ye having a laugh, skullin’ pints and making suggestive poses behind girls in the queue at the chipper all show us that you’re up for a good time but Jaysus, do ye have any decent photos? Preferably ones that don’t say ‘Chipper one is mad for wavin’ across the middle of it.
Posing with Girls
I can’t grasp where in your intelligent mind you think it’s appealing to potential shifts/one night stands/girlfriends to see your arms wrapped around some beure in the nightclub. Believe it or not, these kind of pictures make us more uhh than aww.
Posing with Kids
Yes, we love children and yes, they are so cute. But we don’t need a visual reminder that you could potentially knock us up at this age and that picture could be a future stencil of you posing with our new bundle of joy. Jesus.
Stop. Just stop. You’re not sexy. The shades and the wife beaters aren’t working. Either are your ‘guns’ or mirror selfies showing us your tattoos. Those pictures tell their own story and it ain’t the one you want.
Sarcasm and Dick Comments
Granted sarcasm can be quite funny at the best of times but sometimes it just isn’t appropriate. It’s really great when you message us and make the first move but messaging us purely just to insult us or tell us that our friend in the photo with us is better looking is just downright malicious. Stop time wasting, do us all a favour and f**k off.
Cropping your face
Really? Stop cropping your face into cooler pictures. It’s obvious and it’s pathetic. Why don’t you just go out and ride that horse or go scuba diving and actually have your photo taken? God damn it man, stop sitting around and go out and live your life. Hallelujah.
Matching and not Messaging
You like the look of me and vice versa. So what’s the problem? Maybe you’re shy but maybe I am too. If this is the case then I always claim that the lad should make the first move. It shows us that not only are you interested but you are confident. So quit to-ing and fro-ing and just message us already.
You have a nice body. Smashing. You probably worked really hard for that. What really concerns me though is that you’ve cut anything from your chest up out of the picture. Are you over compensating with your physique? Are you so insecure about your face? Or are you just so beautiful that your angelically sculpted good looks might hurt our untrained eyes? No one will ever know.
Reminding us that you’ve slept around
Saying things like “I’m great in bed. My references include two Business students and one Arts student” doesn’t make you impressive and certainly doesn’t make us think you’re God’s gift in the sack. You’ve slept with other students. Who hasn’t? And although we have already assumed it, we don’t need to be reminded. All you’re doing is showing us that you’ve had sex and you’re still going on about it. Round of applause.
Photos c/o thoughtcatalog.com, wearesomehow.com